Mixed Emotions

Can I tell you exactly how I feel?
or will you turn away from me?
For me, it's worth the risk
to say You give me hope
You give me sorrow. Isn't
funny how you give me both?
I want to push you away
Yet somehow someway
you pull me in.
Your broken past hooks mine
and as badly as I wish for it to
release I also wish for it
to stay. Crazy how I can feel
so alone yet feel as if I'm in
a crowd of people. Serenity and
chaos, that's what you are. How
can I explain this growing
emotion toward you......could
it be...could it be love?
Could this chaotic emotion be
what's desperately pulling me
in as I unwillingly pull away?
Is that what love is?
I have all these mixed emotions
flooding me
I don't know what to make
of it. Every time I think
of you I smile and feel
giddy like a child
Butterflies dance every time
you call me. You're the one
I want yet at the same time
I just want you out of my life.
You drive me crazy with
your self-pity but that same
sorrow and pain makes me
want you. You are broken
and so am I. Is this what
brings us together? I just
want someone who can
understand my shattered,
Someone who can break
down the barrier I have
build around my heart.
Are you the one? Are you
the one who can turn my
sorrow into happiness? I
feel your pain. Can you feel
mine? Could this be love?
Could this be that love in
fairytales? Or is it merely
puppy love? Will it fade
away in time? Or will it last
until the end of time? Will it
be there to pick me up? Or
will it leave me in the dust?
I want this so badly yet I
am Terrified. With all these
mixed emotions I just want
to be free yet you have this
way of pulling me closer
Will you stop?!
No.....wait......pull me
closer.....I love you.

(It's too bad this asshole broke my heart)

-Krista McCuistion

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