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this feeling fucking sucks

ive been depressed before and i never thought i could feel worse i was to the point of drinking every day sleeping with multiple guys and never caring what others thought of me but more importantly not even caring about what i truly thought of myself i could not even look at myself in the mirror i hated the person i let myself become and i felt like utter shit but this feeling... this gut wrenching sadness that overcomes me that makes it nearly impossible to breathe this poison i feel that has put thoughts in my head that i have never had before (maybe itd be easier if you just ended it, what would happen if you just swerved a little on the insterstae going 85mph? what if you just started drinking again to drown out the feeling?) this feeling fucking sucks and there are no words that could capture or fully explain what it truly feels likes i lost my sister my best friend the one person on this planet that never judged me the one person who stood by me no matter wh...
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Girls.

Here's to all the girls Who's ever felt alone or Too fat Too skinny Too perky Too low Too this Too that Not enough or Too much To the girl who was laughed at To the girl who did the laughing To the girl that betrayed me And to the girl that had my back To the spoiled princess And the tomboy To the girl that stole his heart And to the girl that stole her heart To every girl I've ever met And to all of those I've never seen To the world changers And the couch potatoes To the girl looking for fun And to the girl who found too much fun To every girl from here to there And every girl in between Remember one thing No matter how this world perceives you You are the only you And no one can be more you than you So be you And be you to the fullest You have one life to live And no say in how long that is So live and don't hold back Be that girl you've always wanted to be And don't wait till tomorrow or next week Start being you today an...
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Will

Touching you Is my New favorite Hobby. (will) -K.M. He's the kind of  Beautiful  That puts  Amber sunsets To shame.  (will) -K.M.
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Bed sheets

The only thing more heart Wrenching than thinking of A you before me with someone Else is thinking of a you After me with her- The very reason I'm no longer The one leaving my perfume Scent on your bed sheets. -Krista McCuistion.
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Hell

I remember looking at him through my drunken stares as lustful thoughts of satisfaction danced across my mind I wanted him and he wanted me there was no need for teasing or playing hard to get So when the opportunity arose his arms wrapped around  my waist to bring me into his warm strong embrace He mumbled some toxic words into my face as i glanced into his eyes and slurred "i need to sit down" He followed behind and as we sat there making  small talk he seemed........ good The one night stand turned into phone numbers being exchanged I would drive an hour almost everyday  just to go visit him day after day week after week and each time when we would just lie there  in his bed and he would hold me in his perfect arms i felt i belonged i felt at home but then those perfect arms that made me  feel so accepted  soon lead me out the door falling for a guy sucks falling for a guy  who doesn't feel the same about you ...
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Special

"There is something special about you."                    -he told her     -and she replied "There is something special about everyone.  You just have to find the one that sees that special something and who'll never lose sight of that." -Krista McCuistion.
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Z

-do you love me? -love you? -oh... -i really like you and care about you  -dont do it. we will get hurt. -do what? -any of it oh but my darling even if you hurt me  or even if i grow to love you and you  break my heart itll be a journey id  never regret and one id always  cherish. -Krista McCuistion.
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